I honestly hope everything goes smoothly, 3 of my grandparents died already. Definitely don't do drugs, would your grandpa want that? Live for him, he has had his life already, yours is just beginning so keep it positive. I honestly hope he is fine and I know how you feel. When I heard my grandma died, I just fell to my knees and broke down. Try not to think if this as dying, Mexicans embrace death, they view it as the gateway to the next world. Again, I hope this helps.

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XandeR