Joke Thread!!

[Oysto]

[Peetu]

Originally Posted by Oysto

VERY funny one :a12:

[Teh god]

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office.... but she was dating someone else. One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you..."

The girl looked at him, then said, "NO."

Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend. So she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The bastard had all quarters!"

[Teh god]

So an old Italian man went to his parish priest and asked him if he would hear his confession.

'Of course, my son,' said the priest.

'Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they didn't find her.'

'That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,' said the priest.

'It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors,' continued the old man.

'Well, they were difficult times, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,' said the priest.

'Thanks, Father,' said the old man. 'That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?'

'Of course, my son,' said the priest.

The old man asks, 'Do I need to tell her that the war is over?'

[Teh god]

There were a husband and wife, whte wife was a sex addict.
One night the husband went out on night, but before he left he said that if he found out that she'd had sex with anyone then he would ripp all her pubic hairs out and bake them in a pie and make her eat it.. She says of course she wont etc etc, so when the husband leaves she sits there.

She can't take it, she sticks her head out of the window onto the busy street and calls to a pakistani, want to come in!?! She runs downstairs and opens the door, He says - Only for a choclate biscuit. She runs upstairs and gets the packet.

She says want to come upstairs to my room? - Only for a choclate biscuit - the paki says,

Want to take those cloths of? - Only for a choclate biscuit..

They do the deed and the wife hears the husband comes home, she says 'GET IN THE CUBOARD NOW!' 'Only for a choc---' Yea what ever, and thrusts the packet to him. The husband comes up and sniffs the air, He says i smell sex, have you? She denys it.

He shouts out COME OUT YOU CUNT.


Only for a choclate biscuit?

[Vanity]

rofl at the first one, teh god :)

[Teh god]

i lol'd so hard at them both.

[Oysto]

[arkelfarkel]

Since Michael Jackson's heart couldn't beat it, they are going to melt his 90% plastic body into lego pieces, so that kids can play with him for a change.

[Windows32k]

Lol @ Hates joke