For Aly, forever. (Poem)

[Stephen]

Alright well, Some of you may know, most don't. I am currently with the most amazing girl ever, Aly. She truly makes me unbelievably happy. Over the past week or so, I've wrote some poems for her, I've given her one, but I would like you guys to rate these, tell me how I can improve my flow of words, etc.

Poem 1. Distanced Heart

We may be states away
It seems a little far
But for you, anyday
I'd drive a million miles in my car

And on that day we meet
You and I, face to face
I know i'll feel the heat
That memory never to erase

No matter what they say
Even if it's true
I'd make that trip everyday
Just to be with you

You know i'll always be there
I hope you can see
Forever will I care
My hearts been set free.


Poem 2. The way I see her

A simple girl
A shining pearl
A face without shame
A heart not tame

A love so distant
A heart so persistent
A mind so strong
An answer never wrong

A future together
A life forever
A shoulder to cry on
A love to rely on

That's what I see
When I look straight at you
My heart for you is free
This I swear is true


Promise to never leave me
Because even though you're far
I think about you constantly
No matter where you are

And I would walk
Much more than a mile
Just promise one thing
Always keep your smile


Poem 3. Untitled
I have seen brighter days,
And I have seen darker too,
But the real sun never shined,
Until the day I met you

All I need now, is your love
To live my day, survive my night
I need you, more than words can tell
For without you, I see heaven as hell

My love, this I challenge you
To love me, just like I do
Because I needed you then, need you still
Let me reach your life, your heart I will fulfill



Three very different styled poems. I write each poem different, I know I don't always follow the rhyme sceams, but at least it's from my heart. Please criticize (constructively) so that I can get better.

[cave]

quite nice i bet she'd like them.

one question though, no offense meant but do you guys know each other in real life or is it a kind of internet relationship?

[Stephen]

Well, We honestly haven't met in real life, yet. I'm saving up the money to go and see her though. I really don't care if people think it's weird or whatever, but you seriously don't have to live right next to each other in order to truly care for someone. I've known this girl all of 5 months, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Think it's retarded or whatever, I don't care.
/RantagainstFagsWhoThinkLongdistanceRelationsshipsD ontEverWork

[cave]

i see, well i dont really know how you can 'love' someone without even meeting them yet, people act quite differently over the internet and you can't truely know someone by just that.

but hey, good for you and i hope it works out.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by cave

i see, well i dont really know how you can 'love' someone without even meeting them yet, people act quite differently over the internet and you can't truely know someone by just that.

but hey, good for you and i hope it works out.

Well, when you talk to the person every day for 2 months straight, atleast 3 hours a day on the phone...You pretty much know them, how they act, how they are as a person. Yes, people do act differently over the internet. That's why I didn't go to "www.lolfreechatsiteforpedos.com" I met her through a friend on Xbox live, And then we just hit it off. But, you're entitled to your stereotypical opinion, so have at it.

[BP4L]

Stephen, Long Distance Relationships Do work If

You are both Dedicated to Each Other and Trust each other alot...

And Won't mess around with anyone...

I know That Long distance Relationships do work...

Im a walking person that knows they do...

I have lived it and they do work...

I Was with a girl Named Megan...

We liked each other all through Middle School...

We went out a few times and then i asked her To be my girlfriend...

It worked out...

And all through High School We were with each other...

Mind you, we are in different Schools now.

Then She Moves out of the City...I live in Laredo, Texas and she Moved To Chorpus Christi, Texas

And It STILL Worked out...If anything, i know it may sound weird but...It Made us Closer

I would Take my mother's Car to See her on the weekends and i would stay at her house or at a friend's house Just to be with her...

And I would Do that EVERY Weekend, sometimes she would come down to be with me, we alternated i guess you could say

She was my First Love And i Really cared about her! Yea things Happened, Now we are just friends But it's a reason that is only between me and her...

We broke up Not because of distance...But till this day, there's not one Day that Goes By and i don't think of her and what we had...

All in all, i support you in Going to See Aly, I wish you the best and i wish you and her The Best life you can ever have...

I hope you guys Spend your Life's together...

Go get her!

love,
BP4L

[Stephen]

Oh my god...thank you, someone who isn't a complete stereotypical faggot and understands where I'm coming from....ILY, No homo Thanks for support

[EskimoANM]

Very nice and well written poem.

I hope you guys spend a long time together. :)

[Spire]

Stephen. I love your poems 10/10. they are great.

Tbh i cryed while ready the the last 2.

When i read them i think how about ive been losing my gf's in the most worst ways possible. (i read them as if there not, a poem about living to far away)

I think you should send them to her. She will be happy.

I make sure the people i like are happy. Im a really nice guy and you will probably never see me acting mean.

Dude, if i loved someone who lived so fa away, id do anything to, at the least, see her.

Make her feel like you care. Tell her in a passive way that you will come for her. you will be with her soon. Thats how i alway feel.

Don't ever get mad at her. She will always be right. Don't assume anything! I really fucked up things with a girl a year ago that way.(i assumed she was going to break up with me, and i hated being broke up with, so i did it, but she wasnt going to, a big fuck up). And just yesterday we hung out, and we made out for like 3 hours. But she is still sad about the guy who was forced to move away from her b/c of reasons. And today she never talked to me. I really thought we were going out. And just now she tells me she has enternal poblems to solve.

So whatever you do, do the right thing.

[GfMyS0n]

Very nice poems man ;D