Guide to not being an "emo"

[GfMyS0n]

Found most of this online, its really funny.
If you watch some emos on Youtube it pretty much makes you want to hit a wall. How the fuck can you make yourself all emotional.

The Goal of being emo?
To avoid attention (attract attention to yourself) by wearing the loudest clothes. To imitate Punky Brewster as best you can, i.e. dress and act like a five year old. Dressing as though you rummaged through your father's closet will somehow make people take you seriously. It's true.

Music (the tunes)
Emo tends to be very `emotional' with whiny lyrics (girlfriend dumped me, girlfriend thinks i'm a loser) or overly flattering lyrics (girlfriend is so fine, girlfriend is unforgettable). Popular bands, not neccesarily classified as emo are the Ataris, New Found Glory, Saves the Day, Dashboard Confessional, Jimmy Eat World, Thursday and the Get Up Kids. Don't try to deny it. Of course we all know that the most popular emo/punk band is Blink 182 with their repetitive guitar chords and whiny vocals. If you are going for the more Indie/Hardcore ("I'm not emo!") approach then your playlist probably includes such bands as Bright Eyes, Texas is the reason, Cursive, Boy Sets Fire, The Promise Ring, At the Drive-In, Sunny Day Real Estate, Mineral, Ani Defranco, or even Small Brown Bike. Of course, this list is infinite and I could go on forever however what is the use of being an elitist if everyone can name all the bands you like without any effort?

Other famous punk pop icons:
Harry Potter: Founder of the wizard core emo persuasion. Wears glasses and has black, messy hair. Most of his worshippers have only read one of his books, usually the first one.

Huck Finn: Although considered raft punk, Huck is a rebel against society, plus he is also quite illiterate, like most emos

Punky Brewster: The mother of emo. She has it all: the clothes, the attitude, and the dog.

Peter Pan: Proudly proclaims ``he never wants to grow up'', which is the mindset of many of today's ``punks''. His tendency to dress androgynously has also rubbed off onto the emos

Charlie Brown: We don't actually know how he relates to emo but his negative and miserably depressing attitude somehow connects him.

Now read below to stop this shit from taking over you.

My top 8 tips to stop being emo.


1. Stay calm. It can't spread if you don't open your mouth and infect other people with your horrible ideas and lack of fashion sense.
2. Remove all articles of clothing and burn them. Note the screams.
3. Wash your hair. Hair dye contains a mind control agent.
4. Bathe in tomato juice. You may have heard it works only for skunk sprays, but it will work here too.
5. Apologize to your parents for ruining your family name with your little phase.
6. Remove your studded belt. Like cancer, emo will never go away if you do not remove the most lethal part.
7. Get out with friends, go town or something actually feel the air for once not the black flame surrounding you.
8. Stop listening to horrible music immediately.


NOTE: I like blink-182 D: i beg to differ with this guide.
Never had a gf before so im not into "dumping" shit, i just like Tom delonge and mark hoppus's voice xD

[juvenilepunk]

I laughed at the Huck Finn bit.