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Yellow Pages
This is probably one of the best things to do and can even become a major news event in your area. You pull out the 'ole phone book and open it up to the yellow pages. Now, starting from the letter "A" and working all the way to "Z" call up every single business in the book. Set up an appointment with every company in there for (example) Wednesday morning at about 10:00. Give yourself a few days to do it all and get all the appointment as close together as you can.
You can probably see what's going to happen. Wednesday morning at 10:00 his street is going to be totally filled up with a truck from every business in the entire area. From exterminators to furnace repair to roofing estimates, they'll all be there asking for Chris. (Try to make sure he's going to be home when they come.)
On Wednesday morning you'll want to make some calls. At 9:30 call up every pizza delivery place in the area and have a couple large pizzas sent to Chris. After that, call up all the taxi cabs and instruct them to come to your house to take you shopping.
Tuesday night you'll also want to make some calls. Every T.V. station and newspaper in the area will want to know that "something big is going to happen on Sullivan street" in the morning. Don't tell them what, just tell them that they'd be stupid not to get coverage on something like this. Also call up all your friends and have them call up their friends. Instruct them all to show up on Sullivan street at about 9:45 am.
As this will be an historical moment, bring a video camera and tape the whole event just in case you're not happy with the camera work of the T.V. stations. You might want to call in a false report to the fire department that Chris's house is on fire just to get them there and add to the confusion.
[edit] Crime Tips
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Try to use a proxy. I already made the mistake of not using one.
If you actually do it, VIDEO IT, and share it with us ezud viewers :)
Im not responsible for what you do, this was found at ***** as a thread, clicked on it, and lul'd.
gl.